My best work

My best work

I am in the process of creating my best work

at least I think I am

at least I think I am

I spend all day of everyday

thinking, eating, feeding

nurturing the concept but I still cannot see the end

it is so totally all consuming that the rest of

my life suffers

at night I sneak to look and stroke

while it sleeps, blowing off the dust of the day

with promises of a better tomorrow

With my friends I compare

and show off my achievements knowing

that I wont listen

to what they have to say, in my eyes

it is perfect

I spent an hour with it today

turning, polishing, drafting, colouring, touching

and smelling ……….

drowning in its beauty

The other day

I actually took it out. I drove in the car

a road I knew well

when suddenly it all looked very strange and unfamiliar and new

my work laughed at me

from the back seat, mocking my attempts

to keep everything in line

But it all fell apart

I tried to laugh too but couldn't

and I cried instead

and my work laughed more

but still I know it’s my best work

I’m not sure

at which point I allowed my work to control me

when the tables turned

But one day

out of the blue my work visited me

uninvited, unexpected

It caught me deep in discussion with my ego, and

while the dummy was sitting on my knee

telling me what to do

as usual

my work burst through the door

At once they became friends and

began to plot against me

discussing me as if I was not there and making

decisions without consulting me.

My work, so eager to please,

Ego so strong

encouraging my work to rebel and my work

took the advice very seriously

So now when the dummy begins to sing

it sings so loudly

that I can no longer hear myself think

its singing, so confident and strong

resonates around the room

taking the furniture with it in its march,

sleeps halts the battle

for short periods but the dummy always presides over me

making sure I know it is still

in control

and that I belong to it and not it to me

And now that they are friends

my ego and my work,

my work watches on carefully taking notes

preparing itself for it’s next win

threatening to jump on me if I miss a beat

and threatening to trash me is if take

a wrong turn

So, I ask

is everyones work as strong as mine?

Are they too making their best work?

Where does this leave us in the end

I longingly desire to know how the end

will look

But ego strives on, it’s stamina stronger than mine

and with ego and my work

conspiring together, I cannot finish this work

but again I say

I know

it is my best

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